You will often hear that you should not assume, and what makes “you” and “me”. However, we all make assumptions, and they are actually an important part of negotiations. When entering a negotiation, we must review our own assumptions and anticipate the assumptions of the other party.
There is nothing wrong with making assumptions. The problem is when one thinks and acts as if the assumption were the absolute fact. If you know you’re making an assumption, you can prepare for the unexpected and be less likely to assert your position dogmatically. If his assumption is proven wrong, he will be less likely to be hurt by such an assumption when he realizes early on that the assumption can be proven false. Unfortunately, many of our beliefs are based on unconscious and hidden assumptions. These are not so easy to bring to light and often we do not recognize their existence.
When I say, “I saw a beggar coming out of the ladies’ room,” what is your first thought? Are you surprised? Why might I be surprised? Did you immediately think that the beggar was a man? I did not say that the beggar was a man, but many people have a hidden assumption when hearing that term that it refers to a man. Hidden assumptions can lead us away from the facts and can be very difficult to recognize and correct.
During negotiations, you must remember that what you assume is only a guess or a probability. If you fail to understand the immediate situation because of a hidden assumption, you may be stuck with the assumption as fact throughout the negotiation. This can lead to disaster. He was reading “The Complete Negotiator” by Gerard I. Nierenberg as research for this column, and he shared an example where assuming could have been disastrous. During a conference about an important and complicated lease, a lawyer handed the lease to the opposition and said, “Here is the standard lease form from the Board of Real Estate. Surely you know it by heart and will Practice all the time you have.” In reality, these “standard” forms contain a large number of conditions in fine print and it would be extremely difficult for anyone to remember the meaning of each and every element of the forms. However, the comment forced the sole attorney into a role, and instead of discussing the lease as it applied to the current situation, he dispensed with reading the standard paper form. He assumed that examining it would show his ignorance. He played the part of having to know every word of the “standard” lease. The hidden assumption had been strategically used to his disadvantage.
Nierenberg lists three categories of hidden assumptions that are useful in negotiation: first, those related to the extensional world, the physical world that exists outside the mind of a human being; secondly, those related to the intensional world, the world that exists inside the mind of each one of us; third, the intentional world of the other person. The first category contains the largest and widest area of hidden assumptions, such as those regarding the environment, time, and space in which we live. We verify, as best we can, the “facts” of the world around us. Many of the opinions we have about the outside world are based on assumptions and we subject them to continuous verification. We just have to be careful not to believe in absolutes that require no further verification when our absolute may, in fact, be an assumption.
Our intentional world is an image of the outside world, and we must realize that ideas do not have the same meaning for other people as they might for us. It can be very beneficial to correctly anticipate each other’s assumptions during negotiations. However, it can also put us at a disadvantage by making assumptions about other people’s motivations and actions. We need to realize that our worldview, along with our value judgments and moral concepts, are personal and valid only for us. If we do not recognize this and do not listen to our opposition, we may deprive ourselves of valuable information.
Assumptions are a natural part of life and the negotiation process. There are times when they can be helpful in negotiation situations and times when they can be detrimental to your success. Hidden assumptions also play a role in various phases of negotiations. When entering a negotiation, we must remember to review our own assumptions and try to anticipate the assumptions of the other party. By doing this, and recognizing the role that assumptions play in the process, the successful negotiator will be better able to use both the facts and the agreed-upon assumptions to negotiate solutions.