Overcoming the life-changing and debilitating challenges of disability and unavoidable new circumstances can cripple the soul. Your new set of circumstances, now enduring, may cause some unexpected lifelong challenges.
THEN YOU ARE FACED WITH THE QUESTION “WHAT SHOULD I DO?
1- NEVER GIVE UP
One of the hardest things to witness that often accompanies debilitating fear is seeing a person who has simply given up. They have stopped fighting and they have stopped pushing forward. There is no visible sign of action or intention to improve their situation. Things always get worse when you give up. Choosing that path is not the answer. As difficult as it may be, never give up! Never give up!
2- ATTITUDE
How terrible it must be to lose control of one’s attitude and give up. You need the ability to control your attitude.
FAITH and FEAR cannot coexist.
If you can learn to adapt to your challenges by focusing on what you can control in life, your attitude and actions will improve. Your complaint story may seem unfair. However, you should always fight to prevent “wrong” “why me” thoughts from taking over and weighing you down.
Your debilitating disability or new set of circumstances, now enduring, albeit permanent, may cause lifelong paralysis of certain normal functions or some unexpected lifelong challenges. Your situation may have started at birth or you may have survived a life-threatening event. Even if your actions are the cause of your lasting circumstance, there may be hope. Your actions may have caused a change of direction in your lifelong dreams. For whatever reason you are here, you have survived, although you are not completely unscathed. How can I make the best of my situation should be the main question and goal in your life journey?
Paraphrasing Brandon Sulser’s book “We Are All Paralyzed”. Perhaps you can pause and listen to a familiar tune sung by the artists, Sting, singing “Asleep on the ocean’s bed, drifting on empty seas. For all my days remaining.” Then you may have heard the words in your mind: “Dark angels follow me over a godless sea”… “Mountains of endless fall. For all my remaining days.” Even the title of this song “Why should I cry for you?” it can echo the thoughts you have often pondered and sometimes vocalized to yourself, even to God. Realizing the permanence of your condition, the following questions may have echoed in your mind more than once: Why am I here? Why is it a difficulty that I cannot overcome on my own? Why do I have to suffer so much? Do I find my burden too heavy to carry alone? Is my battle too hard, too hard? Can I go to God for inspiration? Will God give me the strength to carry my personal cross?
You may have pondered all of the above questions and hopefully three more that you have prayed for: “God, if it is not part of Your plan to take the test from me, could You please strengthen me in some way? God, will You heal my soul?” wounded with hope? do you bless me with strength beyond what I have so that I can endure and make the best of the trials to come?” Controlling one’s attitude is always a challenge, as it will be for you, but you can do it.
So, the above has been your cycle of thinking, reflecting and praying. A common misconception held by many, particularly among Christians, is that faith, being good enough, praying long enough, can entitle you to blessings, even the right to miracles. All the things we want to happen have to be combined with God’s will for us. During this excruciating period of anguish, helplessness, and sometimes hopelessness, don’t make the big mistake during this period of great trial. DON’T GET AWAY FROM GOD AT THE MOMENT YOU NEED HIM MOST! Certainly, your situation will not be easier by turning away from God. You need all the help you can get to navigate your difficult and unforeseen path.
3- EACH OF US HAS A MOUNTAIN TO CLIMB
Your challenges can be many, unforeseen and ongoing. Today is the time to start climbing your mountains. Start conquering your obstacles, here and now. You may never reach the top of every mountain you try to climb. However, it has been my experience, the higher you go, your vision expands and the view is better, the higher you go.
“To some extent, a man’s life is shaped by environment, heredity, and the movements and changes in the world around him. Then there comes a time when it is within his power to mold the clay of his life into the kind of thing you want to be – to be.
Only the weak blame their parents, their race, their time, a lack of good fortune, or the whims of fate. Everyone has it in their power to say: ‘This is who I am today; I’ll be there tomorrow'”
~Louis L’Amour
By now you will have noticed that the path of life you walk, dream and plan, you continually adjust. Problems in life are abundant and not always what you had planned or dreamed would be your circumstance. Unexpected obstacles suddenly thrown in the way. Detours are sometimes extreme and unplanned. The grievance surrounds. The concern remains. However, if one’s attitude is controlled, happiness, hope and peace can coexist.
4- CAREGIVERS ARE GUARDIAN ANGELS
A caregiver comes in all flavors, a husband, wife, grandfather, grandmother, father, mother, brother, sister or friend, and even carefully selected paid help. Willing caregivers are like beacons sharing beacons of light that bring service, hope, comfort, and safety to the disadvantaged and bereaved. Let’s be completely honest. Everyone needs unconditional loving assisted care. Caregivers are beacons for those who suffer physically and emotionally. They are a vital beacon for the bereaved, the suffering, and those in need of help.
For bereaved people with demanding painful circumstances, the best hope is that they themselves seek empowerment to reach their full potential through education, support, and determination. However, reconciliation of their grievances, healing and needs can also be, and often is, very helpful by a caregiver. The harsh reality is that the need for a caregiver may continue or increase, not decrease. Caregivers are guardian angels who provide you with beacons of light and comfort.
“Because I was hungry, and you gave me food; I was thirsty, and you gave me to drink; I was a stranger, and you welcomed me; naked, and you clothed me; I was sick, and you visited me. ..” ~Matthew 25:35-36
You may experience shocking personal trials, adversities, and unexpected needs, beyond your self-sufficiency. The help a caregiver can provide should not be over-appreciated. Their value to your personal healing and needed help is indescribable. Time and effort offer healing assistance, but serious satisfaction needs, which you cannot always meet yourself, leave some lasting pain. Unexpected events can happen and cause big detours in your life.
Every time I think about the role of the caregiver, I think of a comment made by William Penn:
“I hope to go through life only once. If, therefore, there is any kindness I can show, or any good I can do for any fellow man, let me do it now, and not postpone or neglect it, for I will not do it.” pass by here again.”
It may be impossible to express enough gratitude to and for a loyal, dependent, and loving caregiver. As much as possible, plan ahead for a loving and willing caregiver. Do your best to find someone willing to give you care. More than one caregiver may be necessary in times of unexpected need.
5- COMMUNION WITH GOD
Learning to harness your personal power is something you must do. Also having personal blessings of peace, comfort, and guidance from a caring Supreme Being complements one’s personal power.
I take the liberty to express my deep conviction in God and give expressions of my deep and abiding gratitude for my many personal blessings.
“ALL HUMAN BEINGS, male and female, are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny.”
~ THE FAMILY A PROCLAMATION TO THE WORLD
I believe that we are all spiritual children of a Supreme Being. You and I may not understand the trials we face. However, I believe that we are children of God who cares. My heart has been comforted by those things in which I believe. My discouragement has been met and conquered by beliefs nurtured and harvested.
On occasion, you may notice that some were apparently born and died with a silver spoon in their mouth, and apparently faced few complications. However, for some, it is “Woe is me!” while we ask the question: why these undeserved tests? Questions can swirl through your mind like empty plastic bags in a strong windstorm. As you live life, you learn that difficulties and trials are common to humanity.
In my life I have received many blessings. To receive blessings without acknowledging their source is to be both naive and ungrateful. Hopefully, there will be many times in your life when you will silently clap your hands for the blessings you receive and no one will notice your silent, grateful applause, and no one will even hear your expressions of gratitude except you and the Lord who gave you those blessings. Blessings
“Therefore he gives you this promise, with an immutable covenant that they will be fulfilled; and all things with which you have been afflicted will work together for your good and for the glory of my name, says the Lord.”
~ Doctrine and Covenants 98:3
I firmly believe in a God who loves me, knows me by name and takes care of me through thick and thin. I testify that his Son lives and has provided an opportunity for my body to one day be resurrected in its perfect form; and that he has atoned for all my sufferings and mistakes.
May you have hope.