How to grill a steak like a fat one

Grilling a steak has all the principles of manliness mixed in. Fire, danger and gluttony. But many of you savages are doing it wrong. I watch in horror as you invite me for a light beer and a dry, lifeless steak. I guess technically it’s supposed to be lifeless, but you know what I mean.

So here are some basic principles for grilling the perfect steak:

GRADE AND CUT The most important choice you will make. At least until dinner the next day. Know first that the best cuts for grilling are T-bone, Rib Eye, Porter House, and Filet Mignon. NY Strip is pretty decent, but not my favorite (maybe because it has NY?) Basically the further you get away from the horns and helmets the better you look.

Next, you must choose your grade. First up is Prime, which is restaurant quality and those bastards buy most of this stuff. You may still be able to find it, if you know your butcher, but it is difficult and you can expect to pay between $ 15 and $ 25 per pound. The next step is Choice and that is what you will typically get at the grocery store and at the butcher’s counter. Good enough for me. If you are looking for Select quality, I suggest you give up and make burgers. The steak may be beyond your means. If you are too cheap to pay Select, you are out of luck. Anything minor can only be served in prisons or elementary schools.

HEAT TO WIN Before you start grilling, you want it hot. Hella hot. Super hot. If you can hold your hand 4 inches above the grill without breaking, it is not hot enough (Chuck Norris is excluded from this test). The number 1 reason your steaks are dry is because your grill isn’t hot enough, forcing you to cook them too long.

PREPARE YOUR MEAT FOR THE GRILL, LIKE A GLADIATOR FOR THE SAND- First of all, you need to leave the meat at room temperature for at least half an hour before throwing it on the grill. Cold meat does not cook well, blood does not move. Then generously season your steak with KOCHER salt and pepper. You can rub some olive oil on the slab at this point. It can help form that nice crust on the outside that we are looking for.

Also, remember that marinades are great if you’re using cheap meat (I’m looking at your flank steak) but they spoil the good stuff. If you make me a Filet Mignon that tastes like lime and tequila, I’ll personally punch you in the throat.

DO NOT COOK, SEAR- Cooking your steak well cut and seasoned on your super hot grill will take you around 3-5 minutes per side, depending on: A) how thick your steak is and B) how hot your particular grill gets. Remember to flip only once. Now how do you know if it’s done?

Well the only way to really know is to open it, but that ruins the steak. It doesn’t make grilled steaks worse, it’s not suboptimal, it ruins it. How to get a supermodel pregnant.

So you will have to experiment on your grill several times. Buy 3 cuts one night, cook one for 3 minutes per side, one for 4 and one for 5.

Note: Undercooked steak is great to reheat the next morning for a steak with eggs and overcooked steak can be thinly sliced ​​to make a bad steak sandwich.

Warning: do not use a meat thermometer. Punching holes in steak is a sham and is illegal in all civilized countries. It lets out all the juices and results in an $ 11 a pound hockey puck.

REST YOUR LAURALS- It is imperative that, after cooking, you let the steak rest for 10 minutes. 5 if you’re starving, but 10 is so much better. I know you are hungry. I know it smells good. But if you drop it on a plate and cut it, you will release all those juices. Give them time to prop up, slow down, and spread out. If you’re concerned about the steak getting cold, wrap it in aluminum foil. Not letting it rest is the number 2 reason the steak is dry.

HUNGER IS YOUR SAUCE Let me tell you this, now and forever. Steak sauce is for guys who lost their sense of taste in a bottle rocket accident. The caveat is that it’s a good way to drown out the flavor of a cheaper piece of meat (I’m not above pulling meat out of the discount container). But if you paid the money for a decent cut, don’t you want to try it and not A1?

Note: A1 is, however, amazing mixed with your burger.

So if you follow these principles and invite me, I will give my blessings to your steak. And by giving blessings I mean consuming.

Also, be sure to call it grilling and don’t miss out on the BBQ label. Barbecuing is your own special, sacred event that I’ll talk about in a later article, not something you can do with just a little propane and a metal grill.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *