When a person, of any age, is struggling with mental health issues, they may prefer to keep it private, anticipating that it could be seen as a sign of weakness, which could threaten their future choices, friendships, and quality of life. They may adopt a stiff upper lip, not wanting to reveal how vulnerable or fragile they really feel. However, this approach rarely improves anything, and sometimes bottling things up can cause problems to escalate.

Until we are affected or lose someone close to us, we are rarely aware of the staggering statistics around mental health, stress, and suicide. Every 40 seconds someone in the world dies by suicide and it remains the biggest killer of men under 45 in the UK! We’ve had some significant diary reminders recently; The Day of Bereavement Awareness, World Suicide Prevention Day, the anniversary of the Twin Towers, World Mental Health Day, days that remind us of the fragility of life and the importance of supporting each other .

There are ways we help ourselves and others to live a more ‘in touch’ life. Let’s start by considering the young, who often have a lot going on in life. Fear of missing out is often a factor, as friends post pictures of their busy and amazing lives on social media. It matters little that those images are posed, edited and exhibited for public consumption. A young person may simply see their friends as happier, more popular, and more successful than they are.

They can be in a circle where they are being bullied, feeling inferior, marginalized, different. They may be struggling with their sexuality, identity, worried about what their future choices and options might be. If they compare themselves unfavorably to other family members, it can be difficult if they feel like a failure and don’t want to be a disappointment.

Some misbehavior may be part of the job description for being a teenager, but it’s important to stay in touch with their lives nonetheless.

– Pay attention. Is the young person behaving differently, is there a change in their attitude? Have they become angry, moody, quiet, go out less often, spend more time in their room? Sometimes young people do not want to worry, upset or disappoint their nearest and dearest. But that can further increase their stress levels as they struggle to cope and stay strong.

– Try to sit down and eat together regularly so the family bond is strengthened. It also provides an opportunity to notice if something is not right, if your appetite has changed, if you have become withdrawn or unhappy.

– Treat everyone as an individual. and doing things separately instead of always with ‘the kids’. Respect your uniqueness. That way you help them develop and become their own person.

– Teach them to practice gratitude. Cultivate the habit of being grateful for at least 3 things each day. Someone congratulating them, the fact that there is running water, that they have food on the table can be a start.

– Make sure there are opportunities for ‘light’ conversations, instead of sitting down, the most formal. Chatting while cooking or driving can be a good time for conversations like ‘you seem a bit calmer lately’. An informal conversation can be more beneficial than a full interview and allows you to discuss what is on your mind.

– Give them space to speak freely. It can be tempting to finish your sentences or guess what you’re thinking, but even pleasant silence can sometimes be okay when it allows time to reflect and process what’s going on internally.

– Praise them for the things they do well. And include some of those activities in family time so they get regular confidence boosts. It’s good to let them share their enthusiasm with the rest of the family.

– Remind them that failure is okay. It is important to test your limits and get out of your comfort zone. But doing so means running the risk of failure, that not everything will work out or go as expected, even after a lot of effort and commitment. Failure can be part of the lights and shadows of life; learning to cope with setbacks and rejection teaches resilience. Getting up again is an important lesson for adult life.

– Encourage them to give back. Volunteering and focusing on something else, like an animal sanctuary or visiting an elderly neighbor, can be ways to widen your world, learn empathy, and see the big picture.

– Have a chat with your teacher to discuss how things are going at school or college. Has their behavior changed, is there any cause for concern? Sometimes a red flag can be that your child suddenly becomes immersed in their work, avoiding socializing and disengaging from previous friendship groups.

And don’t see seeing your GP or therapist as a failure. Doing so can provide valuable guidance and be the first step on your road to recovery.