From day one, my own lifelong personal herpes infection has presented me with various ethical challenges. He has challenged me with the question of who to tell and when. It has challenged me on what to say and how to say to other people with herpes. He has challenged me with the question “Do I have any responsibility to try to prevent people in the community who don’t have herpes from getting it, and if so, what are they?”
On how to say it and when:
When I was diagnosed with herpes, doctors told me that it was safe to have sex with other people as long as I avoided having sex during outbreaks and that I would get warning signs when an outbreak was coming. Fortunately, we are working with much better information these days. A person with herpes is potentially contagious every day of the year and safer sex, including using a combination of a condom or dental dam and an antiviral gel, is the best way to ensure that one is not inadvertently spreading the virus. bill.
I was an irresponsible coward when I first got herpes. Because doctors told me I wasn’t contagious without breakouts and because I was in the habit of using condoms, I decided I only had to tell someone I had herpes when it seemed like the relationship was getting serious and there would be regular sexual contact. I had justified my cowardice by thinking that the risk to others was too small to risk rejection due to a herpes leprosy. Please don’t be like me. Not telling someone before you have sex that you have herpes is absolutely wrong. There’s no real way to justify it. Now I tell potential lovers that I have herpes even before the first date. It takes the weight off me of this guilt that most people with herpes have and for me it is the right thing to do.
A lot of people tell me that it’s okay if you’re not going to have sex with someone to wait and see if the relationship gets serious before you talk to them about herpes. Sure this is much better than waiting until after sex, but for me it’s still not good enough. If you care about someone, if you respect them, why not tell them as soon as possible so they can decide if they want to invest energy and time in getting to know you better? Isn’t it a bit manipulative to allow someone to develop feelings for you without warning him that he risks a lifelong viral infection if he gets involved with you? Think about it. If you wait until they are already emotionally attached to you, they may feel obligated to continue the relationship when they wouldn’t have if you told them up front. It takes more courage and integrity to say it early, but it feels better to take the weight off your chest and the person you say it to will usually respect you for giving them the choice.
I am especially attractive to men as I believe that men are not as protective of their sexual partners when it comes to talking about herpes as women are. Guys, please don’t have sex with anyone without telling them about your herpes. And if you don’t know the facts, don’t underestimate the risks: Herpes is a more physically and emotionally devastating disease for women than it is for men, and it’s much easier for a man to give herpes to a woman than it is for a woman to give it to a man. man.
On how and what to say to other people with herpes:
I am a holistic healer, herbalist and homeopath. My family has been healers for many generations in my home country of Trinidad and Tobago and from Africa. I had little or no interest in treating herpes as a healer until I had it myself. Wanting to change the negative for the positive, I decided to make holistic herpes treatment the cornerstone of my practice. The bible says “the stone that the builder refused, I will make my cornerstone. Bob Marley and the weepers also sing about it.
Once I decided to become a holistic viral specialist, it didn’t take long for me to realize that I was facing a daunting challenge. Most practitioners, including every herbalist and homeopath I know, rely heavily on referrals to build their client base. Here I was now working with a client base from which I would never get many referrals. My herpes patients don’t go around telling the world that I helped them with their breakouts. Some of my patients have not yet told their loved ones that they have herpes, many have not told their closest friends or family. I’m not a company. I don’t have a budget for advertising. The only way to reach out to other people with herpes and encourage them to come to me for treatment was to speak publicly about my work with herpes and about herpes in general. This forced me to be much more out of the closet than my personal choice would have been.
I always seem to create challenging situations for myself. Talking to other people with herpes is not a task for the faint of heart. Some people like to shoot the messenger. I have the gunshot wounds to prove it. But I can say that talking to other people with herpes has been and continues to be one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. I feel a deep bond with many of the people with herpes who interact with me. I felt this kind of bond when I was playing team sports. I have felt this kind of bond all my life with other black people. There is something about “us against the world” that can draw people closer to each other. I love my herpes friends. I love my herpes patients, even the bad ones. I’m not thankful for having herpes, but I’m not sorry either. However, the truth hurts, and I have a bitter truth to tell other people with herpes:
Having a lover who also has herpes is not a free ticket to unprotected sex. Even if you both have the same strain Having unprotected sex with each other can and often will make one or both partners’ cases of herpes worse. It’s called re-inoculation and it’s a message that many people with herpes don’t want to hear.
If you have herpes or cold sores, you’re potentially contagious every day, and there’s no sure way to know if you’re shedding the virus. Therefore, consider using a condom/dental dam combined with an antiviral gel when having sex, and be careful when sharing wet towels or wipes with others.
No two people get herpes the same way, so you’re going to have your own individual experience with the virus and you’re going to have to find your own way of dealing with it on all the different levels that you’re going to have to deal with it.
There is unlikely to be a cure for herpes in our lifetime and there are no quick fixes to control herpes. Herpes cannot be controlled with a topical agent alone, be it creams, lotions, or essential oils. Controlling herpes requires changing your diet, managing stress and other triggers, and may also require taking herbal medications or drug therapy.
You may not have fewer breakouts as you age. While this is often the case, since no two people get herpes the same way, other illnesses, menopause, self-abuse, re-inoculation from unprotected sex, and other factors can change the frequency pattern and severity of outbreaks at any time during your lifelong journey with herpes.
Cold sores are just as, if not more, contagious than genital herpes and can infect others when no signs of sores are present.
Having herpes makes you more vulnerable to other sexually transmitted infections, such as HIV, cervical dysplasia, and genital warts.
Daily use of l-lysine is an ineffective strategy for treating herpes and may do more harm than good. There are more effective natural remedies like garlic to treat herpes without any side effects.
Talking to those who don’t have herpes:
For me, the reality is that the traditional and alternative media do not want to talk about herpes. They’d rather have us in a ghetto. There is a lot of misinformation out there and people who don’t have herpes have few places to go to hear the facts about herpes. They don’t hear the facts in their churches, young people don’t get enough herpes education at school. Most parents do not teach their children about herpes, older siblings do not pass on information to younger ones.
It’s really up to us who have herpes to try harder to dialogue with those who don’t. HIV will not be the last word in the world’s human population control of viruses. If we don’t learn how to better protect the population against herpes and other sexually transmitted infections, we are going to have a lot of problems. Herpes is a gateway disease that provided easy access through the mucous membranes for any sexually transmitted virus.
It is my unwavering conviction that those of us in the herpes community need to be more vocal in the media and also reach out to those around us. Each teaches one. Each one reaches one.
Christopher Scipio
Holistic Herpes Treatment Specialist