What does it really mean when a husband doesn’t spend time with his wife? Does it signal the end of the marriage? How serious is it? What can you do to reverse this situation? I’ll do my best to answer these questions, so read on…
Meaning #1: He doesn’t understand the importance of spending time with you.
When a husband doesn’t spend time with his wife, one reason could be that he doesn’t realize how important spending time with his wife is to maintaining a happy marriage. No matter how much modern society has changed, nurturing a relationship is still largely a woman’s job because men just aren’t equipped with “how to have great relationship” skills.
While building close relationships with others comes naturally to women, men tend to be at a loss. So don’t assume your husband understands your need to spend quality time together. He might think it’s more important that she work hard in his career than to provide for the family. In fact, by his standards, he may even think he’s spending enough time with you. If this is the case, your solution might be to sweetly ask “Can we go out to dinner together on Friday?” Give your husband specific instructions and see if he is willing to make time for you.
Meaning #2: He’s trying to figure things out for himself (retiring to his “man cave”).
Sometimes one just needs peace and quiet to think. Men like to solve problems on their own because asking others for help can seem like a sign of weakness. So if her husband spends even less time with you than usual, he may be worried about something and needs time alone to work things out.
Ask your husband if something is bothering him and tell him that you are willing to listen. If he opens up, be very quiet and just listen. Don’t give advice. Don’t add comments. Keep your mouth shut and listen. When he stops, say “Tell me more” and keep quiet. Don’t try to solve his problems for him unless he asks you to. Always ask permission before giving advice.
But what if it doesn’t open and share? Then leave him alone and when he comes up to you, give him a big smile and tell him you missed him. If this still doesn’t work, try writing him a letter to tell him how you feel.
Meaning #3: You need to focus on putting the fun back into your relationship.
The best way to encourage your husband to spend more time with you is to make interactions with you fun. Don’t just stick to your boring old routine; don’t heap all her family problems on him the moment you see him. Focus on always doing something fun and exciting first! Help him associate pleasure with your company.
I know it’s hard to perk up and be light and fun when you’re feeling stressed about your marriage. However, obsessing over things and being depressed and angry about it will not accomplish your goal of enticing your husband to spend more time with you.
Too often, we get caught up in the responsibilities and mundane tasks of married life, that we don’t give ourselves enough time to enjoy ourselves. Smile more; laugh more; Become more like your married husband’s charming and fun wife and you might succeed in bidding farewell to “husband doesn’t spend time with wife” worries.