Abraham Lincoln once said, “The strength of our nation is found in the homes of its people, while the strength of the home is found in the moral fabric sewn by the father.” True then, true today, but a permissive society and diminishing cultural standards have waged a spiritual battle against the father, our marriages, our children, and even our nation, undermining the family and jeopardizing America’s future.

Christian families today are plagued by spiritual anorexia. They are starving from spiritual malnutrition. They don’t get the milk that 1 Peter 2:2 talks about, but they drink gallons of the age-old powdered poison that Satan has left there for them to drink. It comes in many forms: materialism, television, everyone’s doing it, people-pleasing, and generally adapting to this world. (See Romans 12:2 for the antidote.)

Come with me some 30 years ago, when a boy sits down at his grandfather’s funeral. I remember the tears of loss my aunts shed. I remember the pain that death brought to those of us who did not know the Lord then. But there was a memory seared into my twelve year old mind that I will never forget. I was watching my dad and his emotional strength. He lifted and carried the family even though he had just lost his father. He carried us on his shoulders. He was strong. He was taking care. He was a father.

I remember that ten years later I saw her again, since the tragedy this time involved the loss of a large sum of money. As creditor after creditor calling, he picked up the phone and talked to all of them, knowing full well that there was no money. He taught me that it is always better to step forward than to run away. He said, “When you run from life, it has a way of haunting you harder.” What courage I thought. I hoped to be like him when I grew up. He was a father.

Little did I know then that my dad’s awesome emotional strength was a metaphor for the incredible spiritual strength of a father, a visual symbol of an unseen reality! Like no other person, a parent possesses a special power to mold and shape the life of another. All the basics of character flow from this person’s life. Esteem. Beginning. Identity. When you think about parenthood you realize that there are few things more powerful.

Children need to know what they are made of and where they come from. Boys especially need affirmation that they have what it takes to be a man. This can only come from one parent type. True masculinity can only be given to a child from a man. Christlikeness and manhood are synonymous, as our Lord’s love and servant leadership must be at the center of fatherhood.

Even if you don’t have children of your own, you can still sire. Parenting has little to do with biology. In essence, it has everything to do with influencing, shaping and affirming. I believe that at the very root of every man there is a father in the soul. There are young people everywhere looking for this.

My wife and I have fought the good fight of parenting for 15 years. Christian parents who love and serve the Lord. Parents reading the right books and quoting the right Bible verses for our children. Just this past Saturday, I hosted our God4me Ministries event for men, “A Man of Character in a World of Commitment.” I had my thirteen-year-old son there. My son listening to godly men made me feel good about myself as a Christian father.

But as with many aspects of my walk with the Lord, that feeling lasted for about 24 hours until the middle of the Sunday worship service. By the way, did you know that 75 percent of today’s parishioners attended church as children? And when a father is an active believer, there is a 75% chance that his children will also become active believers. But when the mother is the only believer, this probability is drastically reduced to only 15%. (Return to Sunday Service). The pastor was rolling and the presence of God was powerful as communion was served. The thing that broke my peace was watching my eleven year old make communion wafer sandwiches, only to be topped off by my thirteen year old turning the paper bulletin into flying planes.

When it comes to being a parent, the words shame and failure continually jump to mind. The incredible inadequacy I sometimes feel about parenting has led me to the Lord more than I care to admit. Being the father of my thirteen-year-old daughter has brought me incredible joy, only to be matched by the overwhelming fear that comes with being the father of a beautiful teenage girl. (She looks like his mother.) Being a parent has led me into a deep confusion that I rarely experienced, even as a pagan. The effort I put in, while my kids fight for Disney out of devotion, is exhausting.

As the director of God4me Ministries, I struggle daily with the temptation to put my service to the Lord before being a parent. I have learned that my service to Him is not enough to make up for failure in parenting. Being a mentor and reading the scriptures has helped me tremendously. (Read 1 Samuel chs. 2-8 about the failure of Eli the priest and Samuel the prophet with his sons. It’s scary.)

The famous ad “It’s all about the beer” is a lie. It is about a man at the bedside of his children, leading them in devotion and prayer. He is about a man who takes his family to the house of God. He is about a man who gets up early and is alone with God seeking vision and direction for the family.

One of the best words regarding fatherhood came from our president, George W. Bush. When asked what he remembered most about his father, George Bush Sr., he answered quickly and without hesitation. The president said: “My father showed me such unconditional love that he allowed me the freedom to fail. He was free to try to be loved no matter the results.”

And you? Have you been loved unconditionally by a father or another man? If so, you are injured. If not, you’re still hurt. Because? It is because that love is there for you, in the form of Jesus Christ, the father of orphans.

My brother, receiving and understanding the grace of God (Ephesians 3:18,19) this Father’s Day can be the greatest gift that has ever existed. Using that gift in begetting others will be a life well spent, one that will bring eternal rewards. I pray that grace upon you.