As I sat down to make a mental gratitude list that contained everything I have to be thankful for this year, I dared to look at a different side of that mental list. For me, the scariest question to consider is what can be taken away from me before I lose faith in my divine connection to my higher source? A little “Jobish”, I know.
Do you dare to ask yourself, when all is said and done, what ties you to this life or your current reality? What is so connected to you that it can blind your Holy Vision, deaden your Divine Hearing and stain your Perfect Knowledge? There’s always someone or something without which you feel like you couldn’t go on. What if tomorrow they took it all away? Would your holiness be reduced, would your connection with the divine be cut off, would you be less than you are right now in this moment? Or would the loss of everything that has you firmly anchored in this reality really set you free?
The lowest point for an addict is actually the catalyst to discover that when all else disappears, the only perfect Knowing is that your higher power has your back. It is by turning EVERYTHING upside down and discovering that we are powerless without divine connection or divine unity that illnesses of the soul begin to heal.
Some people choose to embrace the background, taking it as a cloak of religious vows in hopes of progressing in their spiritual connection with their higher power. Vows of poverty, chastity and obedience.
Nothing can really prepare us, or can give us an idea of how we would respond if “everything” were taken away. I’m not just talking about you today or the future. What if your past was taken away? What if everything that you held true and dear in your heart regarding the memories of your past was altered, changed, and / or turned into a nightmare? I know you’re thinking how the hell can the past change. Your past is just your mind’s record of how things, relationships, events, etc. played. What happens to a person who discovers that they have repressed memories that change EVERYTHING they thought they knew was true? So what?
Then there are the people who are being challenged right now with a devastating illness, the loss of a loved one, of their jobs, of their homes. The pain of this world, this illusion can sometimes be overwhelming. Ah, thinking and feeling all the possibilities makes my heart ache. I even had to reread The Book of Job. Poor job! What a sad human story. But a beautiful story of the steadfastness of blind faith. Job knew that the only thing that mattered was his divine connection to his creator.
The question I ask myself today is Who am I if everything disappears? The only thing I know that cannot be changed, altered and / or diminished in any way is my connection to my source. I can cover it with a multitude of veils; I can pretend it doesn’t exist to the point of forgetting it. But when everything is stripped, when we are at the bottom of the well, when the darkness has swallowed us whole, there will always be the Knowing that my God has me in the palm of his hands.
In the end, when we are ending this life, the ONLY thing we have, the ONLY thing that will matter is that connection with divine Love. This brings me to the last scene in one of my favorite movies, “The Never Ending Story.” Here is the dialogue.
Bastian: Why is it so dark?
Empress Moonchild: At first, it is always dark.
Bastian: What is that?
Empress Moonchild: A grain of sand. It is all that remains of my vast empire.
Bastian: Has Fantasia completely disappeared?
Empress Moonchild: Yes.
Bastian: Then everything has been in vain.
Empress Moonchild: No, it has not. Fantasy can arise in you. In your dreams and wishes Bastian.
Bastian: How?
Empress Moonchild: Open your hand.
Empress Moonchild: What are you going to wish for?
Bastian: I don’t know.
Empress Moonchild: Then there will be no more Fantasy.
Bastian: How many wishes do I get?
Empress Moonchild: As many as you want. And the more wishes you make, the more magnificent Fantasia becomes.
Bastian: Really?
Empress Moonchild: Try it
http://www.moviemistakes.com/film885/quotes
As I progress on my spiritual path I have come to begin to understand that NOTHING and NOBODY can alter the “Who I am” that rests in God. In the beginning (not the end) it is always dark! If I choose, I can make a new wish, create and recreate a heavenly now!