Every bride knows that getting an accurate count is an absolute must for a wedding reception. Why then, do some guests not seem to understand the importance of responding promptly to a wedding invitation? Over the years, couples have tried all sorts of ideas to get potential guests to RSVP to their weddings; This is a look at the pros and cons of the various options.

The most traditional way to request a response to an invitation (any invitation, really), is to indicate so on the wedding invitation. At the bottom left of the invitation, place the notation “The favor of a response is requested” (the British spelling of favor is used to be consistent with the wording of the invitation requesting the “honor of your presence”) or Rsvp Note that only the “R” is correctly capitalized, as it is the beginning of the French phrase “Respondez s’il vous plait”. Sometimes a date by which responses are needed is also included. When this method is used, it is up to the invitees to write a note indicating whether they will accept or decline the invitation. Believe it or not, it usually works quite well, and it’s the more elegant approach, perfect for the bride whose taste leans toward classics like roses, Vivaldi, and pearl bridal jewelry.

Not trusting family and friends to write a letter, most couples these days include a separate reply card with the wedding invitation. It can be a small card with a self-addressed stamped envelope or a postage stamped postcard to keep costs down. Most reply cards will have a deadline (after all, if you don’t trust people to write a note, you can’t trust a card to be mailed back to you in a timely manner). There are a number of ways that response cards can be made, but usually they will have a space for the guest to fill in their names, note whether or not they accept, and a space to write the number of people your party is attending. . Some answer cards also have a space to check a box indicating the preferred dinner selection.

There is a growing problem of people assuming they are free to bring whomever they choose to a wedding, which has led to a new approach that can be used for response cards. The smart bride does not leave a space where the guest can indicate how many of her party will attend, because it has led to abuse. Since when does an invitation addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Jones mean that they could bring additional unknown people? To combat this, brides often fill out the invitation with the names of the people invited and a space for them to indicate whether or not they will attend. Some brides even take the extra step of writing something like “Two spaces have been reserved for you. Please reply by…” to make it even clearer that no random extras or escorts should be brought along for the trip.

In modern times, brides and grooms feel comfortable doing much of their wedding planning online. The bride can buy her bridal jewelry, favors and even the wedding flowers on the Internet. The rise in popularity of custom wedding websites has also given rise to a new, high-tech form of Rsvp, which is the online response. While this can be very efficient and cost-effective, it also runs the risk of confusing less computer-savvy guests, especially from the older generation. For that reason, a completely electronic RSVP format is not recommended. If you choose to require people to respond to your wedding website, also include a phone number in the invitation so guests have another option to respond to your invitation.