Many people frequently express their distress at not being able to see their close friends and family during the global pandemic, and in fact, this lack of contact has caused serious emotional and mental difficulties for many people. Students who cannot return home to visit family, grandparents who do not see their newborn grandchildren are just two examples of the overwhelming sense of loss that is being endured right now.

And there are other relationships that are also suffering, causing a more subtle but significant impact due to the resulting feelings of loneliness and separation. When we are only occasionally ‘allowed’ to go out and then expected to keep our distance and not interact with others, it means that we are losing the more informal, but important, day-to-day relationships that reinforce our meaning. of community and belonging.

I remember a restaurant that my parents used to frequent regularly. Dominic ran the bar and whenever he saw my parents arrive, they immediately served them drinks and waited for them. My parents loved this special treatment and the fact that he noticed and remembered them. Their attention made them feel valued and important. That relationship was an important part of the restaurant experience.

We all have similar scenarios. The cafeteria or sandwich where they know our order, the stores and service providers where they remember small details and treat us well. I remember how I smiled when the cashier at my regular grocery store was surprised to see that there were no flowers in purchases that week. Being recognized and recognized reinforces our connections with others, making us feel noticed, valued and less alone. It matters little that these people are not friends and we hardly know their names. These relationships are part of a very different but important category.

Then there are the people we know well enough to share a few words with a friend of a friend, a parent from school, someone we see passing by at work or recognize at the gym. Usually we would have stopped, said ‘hi’, asked how they were doing, asked after their vacation. Once again, those friendly connections are gone and we’re alone, rushing out to pick up our weekly groceries or ordering a coffee to go, if we’re still leaving the house to run those errands.

What about the events in the arena, the big concerts and sports dates, the networking exhibitions where hundreds or perhaps thousands of people congregate together with a shared collective enthusiasm, all cheering on their teams, singing the lyrics and dancing with their favorite songs, meeting and exchanging potential business contacts. Once again, that shared connection brings us together with strangers who have similar interests. We can smile at each other, dance together, share anecdotes, stories, and memories for a while. Connecting with others lifts our spirits. We are part of that club for a while and it feels good, which adds to the quality and satisfaction of the overall experience.

Children also learn about relationships through face-to-face contact. Running into a group of kids who are playing, learning to share, taking turns, losing, not being chosen are all ways kids hone their communication skills, tune in to body language, figure out what works and what doesn’t.

However, today many of our friendly interaction opportunities have been suspended indefinitely, only to be replaced by the delivery driver who now calls regularly, the takeout restaurant who is familiar with your name and your order. usual, pre-arranged zoom meeting. Many of these transactions now take place virtually, with orders left at the door and little human contact.

New friends have been made during the confinement. Many people have started their daily exercise on a similar schedule, perhaps going for a walk, a run, or a bike ride. Meeting the same people may mean that a polite nod and greeting gradually turns into a smile and perhaps a few words of conversation, but these exchanges are often done cautiously, at a distance. We may know very little about who we are going to meet, but the feeling of having shared interests in walking or in nature creates a special bond and guarantees a friendly recognition when we do meet.

We may not have realized until now that the diversity of relationships is important in life. Not all the people we come in contact with have to be highly relevant in all areas of our lives. Many are more whimsical and lighter connections, specific to certain interests and activities, but all nevertheless add sunshine and a feeling of belonging. A smile, a nod, a few words here or there; losing that is a huge blow to all of us. Hope to see you again in no time.